Notes towards
a new Etiquette

Do not wear dark glasses at night unless you have a contagious 
eye disease.

On Service: Do not call waiters or taxidrivers "Sir" unless you expect them to tip you.

For the Post Young

Do not be hip.

On Sexual Mores: Do not betray the secrets of the Heart. Until the check clears anyway. 


Sorry, but spelling your first name wrong is not a creative act.

On Being a Lady: Be sensitive but honest. And if they can't take it, screw 'em!


In General: Amusing people do not have amusing messages on their answering machines, witty people seldom wear witty T-shirts, and you very seldom get fascinating e-mails from people with fascinating lives. 


Do not high-five
the Almighty.

On Being a Gentleman: Women and children first! Especially when losing height in a balloon ...

Do not use slang or foul language in the presence of your juniors. You will only get it wrong and embarrass yourself.

Avoid cannibalism
and other fad diets.

For The Young:
Do not be cool.

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